Mr. Shane

I just realized something. There is a lot that I want to write about. And I know hardly anyone will read this, but that's ok. There is just a lot on my mind. Lately I've been thinking a lot about Shane. It's been weird. For some reason, when I was at the YSA activity at Old Tucson, I was sitting in the bleachers waiting for the show to start and people were coming in, and, I don't know, I guess I was waiting for Shane to show up. I caught myself staring off into the crowd of incomers. And that's kind of just been on my mind since then. I know that's really weird and I sound kind of creepy, but I don't know why that happened. Shane was one of my very best friends. He was one of my first friends when I moved to Cienega, and it was all uphill from there. We did crazy things together. All the time. With other people, just us 2, whatever. Even when we worked at Papa John's together, it was always fun. We honestly didn't do anything boring. If we did, I can't remember. Even when we would have conversations late at night, I genuinely had a good time. He was just a funny, quirky guy. He had a hard time opening up to me sometimes and being honest with me, which kind of frustrated me sometimes because I still have questions, but he was a really really good friend. I remember when I got into my car accident at Cienega's parking lot when I was picking Kimo up after school, Shane was there and the kid who hit me started arguing with me that it was my fault. I'd never been in an accident before and had no idea how to handle it, and I was shaking for some reason. But Shane went over to the kid and started yelling in his face that it wasn't my fault. I think it was bad that I started to smile in a situation like that. But Shane was cool like that. We would mess around with each other and make fun, but he would always stand up for me in serious situations. Shane made my last 2 years of high school so much better than I thought it was going to be. I had a really hard time adjusting and opening myself up to people, because everyone I knew and was comfortable with was at Mountain View. But I think I can vouch for everyone in saying that I feel like I've known Shane forever.

When Shane went on his mission we wrote back and forth. We made a sort of pact in my journal that we would write each other every week. We made a couple pacts in my journal actually haha. I kind of fell behind and resorted to emailing, because I type faster than I write and it was more convenient. But Shane was diligent in writing me hand-written letters, many of which included pictures of his mission. I remember the first DVD he sent me, videos of his first 6 months. I remember thinking, all he does is make videos! But they made me laugh. He was just himself. He wasn't trying to impress anyone cuz he was on a mission or whatnot, he was himself. And I think that's why everyone in his mission loved him. I still have the 2 bracelets Shane had made for me in Guatemala. One said "LIPS" and one said "TE AMO MISSIONARIO." Haha. Shane always talked about how big my lips were and compared them to Leona Lewis'. And I know Shane didn't make that bracelet himself, so it was kind of embarrassing knowing that Shane asked some Guatemalan girl to make a bracelet for some girl with big lips haha. But I wore it for a good week after I got it. Shane called me on all 4 holidays he got to call home. We would talk for over an hour or however many minutes he had left on his card after talking to his family. It probably wasn't allowed, but it happened. When we talked on the phone we just picked up where we left off. It wasn't awkward, or weird, it was just Shane. We just talked.

When Shane got home, things were a little different for him and I. I was/am dating Adam, and he started dating Alyssa. We didn't see each other as much, or even talk as much. We tried to go to lunch a couple times but things always got in the way- my car broke down, he had to work, just stuff. We talked on the phone a few times, but we both knew things had changed. He was still one of my best friends, but I think that because we were both dating people we were both cautious of how and when we talked to and saw each other, whereas before his mission we really didn't care what people thought of us. Not us individually, but him and I. People always thought we were dating, but we didn't care. We were just really good friends. And after he got back we both realized we couldn't be so carefree about our relationship. But he was still the same Shane. I knew that he would be there if I never needed to call him; I knew he would listen. Even still, I go to text him or something and then I realize I can't do that anymore. I miss Shane. I miss his humor, I miss his wittiness, I miss his friendship. And while it's taking me a while to adjust to him not being here, I can't wait to see him again!