Wednesday, August 31, 2011

GOOD DAYS.

Here's something I don't get.

I don't understand how someone's life is SO AWFUL and crappy that they have to post about it on Facebook every other day?? Their status will say, "omg I'm having the worst day everrrr" one day and then 2 days later it'll say, "having a super bad day :( just want everyone to leave me alone." Like, wtf? Does your life really suck that bad? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Because yeah, I have bad days too. There are days when I just don't feel like talking to anybody or going anywhere. There are days when I just feel like crying. But after I really sit down and think about it, my life is really not that bad. Sure, I have things I could complain about. I have money issues just like everyone else. My car sucks, and barely runs. I've made some dumb decisions that have prevented me from spiritual progression. I'm "behind" in life as far as LDS standards go these days. I'm not married. I'm almost 23 and I'm not even close to getting my degree yet. I have boy problems. All my good friends are 400 miles away. I don't have cable.

BUT. My life is not that bad. I have a pretty good job, with pretty good health benefits. I have A car. I have some good coworkers who look out for me. I have a lot of options as far as school goes. I have good roommates with good standards. I have the church. I have the institute. I have my family. I have a laptop and Hulu. So really, I can't complain all too much. There are things that I wish were different. There were things I wish I could go back and do over. But I can't. And I've accepted that. And I'm accepting the consequences and moving forward. But even still. Those are MY problems. I'm taking care of them. So, even if I do have a bad day, why let people know about it? Why should I make it public that my day sucks?

I remember a lady teaching a class at EFY some time ago. I don't remember her name or what her class was about. But I remember her telling us to play the "Glad Game." She said that for every trial we go through, whether it be life-changing or something minute, find something good about it and be glad about it, and thankful for it. She said it would help us keep a positive perspective and focus on being happy. That was over 5 years ago, and still, every time something happens I try to play the "Glad Game" in my head. Take all my 27 car accidents for example. I remember my first car accident. I was driving my parents' car, and some dummy hit me in Cienega's parking lot and totaled it. I'd never been in an accident before, so I was frozen. Frozen with fear and anxiety mostly. Fear that my parents would kill me. Anxious that I wouldn't have the balls to stand up to the dumb kid. But thankfully, Shane was there to yell at the dumb kid for me. Thankfully, my parents weren't mad at me. Thankfully, I didn't get hurt. And I was glad for that. That was a sucky, sucky day. But I was glad it wasn't worse than it was. And it easily could've been. Thank goodness for that Glad Game.

I just don't understand how people, especially people my age, can have such sucky crappy lives. Makes me wonder what makes it SO BAD. I guess either they're really dramatic, or they really want sympathy. Either way, I guess I don't know their situation so I can't really say anything. But I can say that I haven't had a super terrible day in a long time, and I'm grateful for that.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

LC

As I was on StumbleUpon today, it brought me to Lauren Conrad's blog. Naturally, being the judgmental person that I sometimes am, my first thought was, "ugh, Lauren Conrad." But, StumbleUpon knows my interests, so I decided to see why it suggested this page to me. I don't even know what her blog post was about, but there were a lot of pictures of cute things. And when I saw this cake:




I decided that this will be the kind of cake that I have at my wedding! Good thing I live so close to the M&M store. Hope y'all like chocolate! Thanks for the idea, LC!

Friday, August 19, 2011

i dunno?

Okay. I don't know what it is, but for some reason I think I have this reputation that I'm just a sarcastic sally all the time? I don't know how I got that! An old coworker from Tucson texted me a couple days ago and was asking how I was doing, yada yada yada. AND THEN she said, "I miss your dry angry wit." And I was like "wtf?" Which, I understand that with this particular coworker, yes, most of our conversations at work consisted of mild bantering. Because she generally had a negative attitude towards life and it was hard to actually talk to her like a normal person sometimes. But it made me wonder, do I really have a DRY, ANGRY wit?? I don't think I am an angry person. In fact I know I am not an angry person. I remember when I first moved to Vail, a few of my volleyball teammates told me a few months after the season ended, that most of them thought I was a biznatch when I first moved there. Is it because I was quiet and didn't really talk to anyone? Because I didn't have any friends?? Another time one of my friends mentioned that she's never seen me cry, that I was just a bada$$. I don't know where that one came from?? And here in Vegas, at my new store, all of my managers just do the same thing as my old coworker. We just spend the day making witty comments back and forth. Which, I don't really mind. It's not like I'm trying to make my coworkers and managers my best friends or anything, but I really don't know what it is about me that, when I meet people my sarcastic side comes out. Sometimes, yes, I provoke it. But I know when I moved to Vegas and started working, I did not have very many witty things to say to my coworkers. I did not like this store too much, so I didn't really say anything to anyone. I guess there is something written on my back, because from day one a few of my managers were pushing the sarcastic buttons. And I guess that's where it started. I don't know why, or what compelled them to bring that out of me.

Just so everyone knows, I'm not sarcastic ALL THE TIME. I CAN have a serious conversation, I DO have other emotions. I DO cry. I DO care about things more than it apparently seems. Don't get me wrong, wit and sarcasm and all that jazz, is who I am. I've always been that way. My family is that way. My friends are that way. It's who I am, I don't deny that. In fact I like it. And yes, to a certain degree, my wit and sarcasm is sometimes "dry." But I don't think it's angry. I don't think I'm a tough bada$$. I've never thought that, ever. And I don't think I'm a biznatch. And I just don't know what it is about me that screams I'M SARCASTIC when I meet people. Maybe I'm just oblivious to it all. Meh. Life goes on. That's my thought for the week.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

MOVING DAY.

Okay sooooo. I finally got the keys to my new apartment! Which is a big deal, because I almost had to stay in some shady weekly rental place with my roommates. But thankfully, we didn't have to do that. I met up with my roommates today after work, walked around the place (it's a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo), and got the keys. Then I went back to Jael's house, packed up most of my stuff, and drove it back over to my new place. I will have to move the rest tomorrow or Friday.

Jael and Paul are moving on Saturday, so that means I will be completely alone in Vegas :( I have my aunt and uncle and cousins here, who are super cool, so that will be okay. But I'm pretty much living here alone. I've never lived somewhere with none of my family around, so it'll be interesting to say the least. Who knows, if I don't like it maybe I'll move to Hawaii or somewhere like that. I was thinking a lot today about moving to Hawaii. I have no timeline. I have nowhere to be. I don't have anything or anyone holding me back. Except money. Money sucks. But really, I can go wherever I want or do whatever I want. (If I had money) So here's to adventure! But I really think I will enjoy this condo. It had a good vibe when I walked in. Not to mention the rooms are huge, so that's a plus. I have two roommates right now, and we are in the process of finding a 4th roommate. Cost of living is a little bit higher here in Vegas than it is in Tucson, so that kind of sucks. Getting a 4th roommate (Danni??) would help my rent costs go down significantly. But I've been spoiled at Jael's house having my own room and bathroom for the last couple months, so it's kind of a catch 22 situation. Pay less, or live in private bliss? Ah decisions. Pay less. That's always the option for me. DANNI, COME ON DOWN.

Here are some pictures of my new abode:



That is my room. Hopefully soon to be "our" room. I feel like it looks bigger in person...


That's my bathroom. Hopefully soon to be "our" bathroom. Okay I'm done with that. Sorry I'm so hopeful.


That is my cute half of the closet. Well, half of my half. The other half is hidden behind the HUGE MIRROR DOOR. I think that is my favorite part of my room. Not trying to be vain or anything, but I love that my closet doors are 3 huge mirrors. I just love it okay.

Anyway. That is my lovely new condo. Time for a new life again. New ward, new friends, new scooter (YES), new roommates, more strangers, more unfamiliarity, more fake laughing, more awkwardness, you get the picture. This will be cool. Cheers.